The importance of being REAL

what's real for you?

I am going to share with you, why I am so passionate about this topic. And why finding out what our authentic intrinsic self looks like, is so imperative to living a full happy life.

I believe that being real and being true to yourself is fundamental to living and creating a life of value and integrity.

Walking through life as authentically as possible and “being yourself” is, in short, what I am about as a woman, a coach and a mother.

I asked my 8-year-old what it means to “be real” and she said it’s about being yourself and being honest… which actually bottom lines it beautifully

So according to my daughter and (I have to agree here) it about standing by what’s true for you and acting accordingly.

We as adults can struggle with this can’t we?

We get so busy worrying about upsetting people, or offending people, or what people might think of us, that we can completely forget what we stand for. We put all the other stuff in front of it… which in turn leads to an unsettling experience within us.

A feeling that something doesn’t quite sit right. This is when our value system is being called into question.

So, is there a way to live by what we believe is real and true to ourselves and not worry how it might affect others?

I absolutely believe there is, yes! And not only is there the ability, I believe it SERVES others to do so.

It starts with our value system… living, honoring and upholding our values.

Our value system is where we create meaning and purpose for our life. Anything else creates discontent and noise…which we have become so accustomed to that we almost accept it as what’sREAL.

The only part of ourselves that we can rely on as real and truthful are our values, our purpose… who we are at the very core of our beings.

can you write down your list of values?

Values such as:

Humility

Gratitude

Joy

Freedom

Happiness

Bravery

Contentment

Family

Community

Friendship

Power

Self-belief

Confidence

Truth

Acceptance

Peace

Calm

Honesty…

Who wouldn’t want to live by these day-day?

They are what make you, YOU!

(BTW there are many more values and they look different for all of us. I invite you to take a moment a write your own personal list and see how often they show up in your life).

This list, is what I like to call, REAL emotion, REAL parts of yourself.

This is where magic happens.

It is from here, that we create the lives we consciously want.

I will repeat that, it is only from these parts of ourselves, these positive life affirming emotions and values, we create the life we want.

Sadly though, a lot of the time, society dictates that we should live differently. Society tells us that it is more comfortable and socially acceptable to live from emotions that are life diminishing.

Places like guilt, comparison, judgement or dishonesty

But these are not REAL emotions. They are NOT values

They do not, bring anything VALUABLE or helpful to our lives, they make us feel bad about ourselves and give us yet another reason to beat ourselves up.

Do we really need any more reasons?

As women, our negative emotions are sadly more commonplace and familiar territory than our values.

Guilt

Comparison

Judgement

Stress

Fear

Blame

Anxiety

Insecurity

Overwhelm

Shame

Doubt

Frustration

A sad list isn’t it? And yet I’ll bet we all experience at least one of these every day.

But do they bring anything good or helpful?

I’m guessing your answer is NO. And yet these are our go to places.

These are the first parts of ourselves that we function from

And yet, they cause nothing but self-doubt and stress.

How on earth can that be worth investing in?

It’s become more comfortable and familiar to sit in negative emotion. It’s so familiar in fact, we have convinced ourselves that this is the REAL us. We are convinced this is us truly living and experiencing life.

This negative life diminishing stance does nothing but keep us small and insignificant, therefore it CANNOT be truth.

So, let’s start to get truthful about who we really are. Who we are in our heart and soul. What values we want to honor

Let’s start a conversation about what’s REAL, Purposeful, meaningful and vulnerable. This to me, is being REAL. This is me is REAL beauty.

It’s time to stop complaining, blaming, judging and time to start believing in ourselves.

If we want to live in a nourishing way, it’s time to start living from value…

And the only place to start, is getting real about who we are, what we offer, what we think, how we feel and how we can bring our best selves here, into the world around us, so we can inspire and encourage others to do the same.

To live from worth rather than inadequacy

To live from meaning rather than lack

To live from purpose rather than doubt

And to discover and shape our lives to be filled with vitality, aliveness and passion

This is how integral it is to get real, be real, be truthful and embrace who we are.

Because without it we cannot have the life we were born to lead.