• Nicole Goodman

20 things for women to know

I always say, if there’s one thing I know, it’s what women want.



I have worked 1 on 1 with women all my adult life. For 26 years I have listened to, groomed, dressed, advised and coached 1000’s upon 1000’s of women.

Being a hairdresser and makeup artist for years, you pick up 1or 2 things about how us females’ function. And now I have the privilege of coaching women, I’ve realized, the conversation isn’t so different.

Did you know that in all those 1000’s of women I have come into contact with, there is one main thing we all have in common?

Every one of us, regardless of size, age, culture or background… knows how to give ourselves an extraordinarily hard time.

We women ALL have the ability to see the worst, or at the very least, the parts of ourselves we simply don’t think are good enough.

I am obviously guilty of this too, butit saddens me.

It saddens me that as a gender we find it so challenging to embrace ourselves for all the we are and instead, we live by all the things that we are NOT.

Not thin enough, funny enough, pretty enough, smart enough, successful enough, not a good enough mother… (you get the idea)

I’ve thought a lot about how I want us women to consider ourselves and one thing is for sure, I’m really done with us only seeing or claiming the very worst.

I’m a mother to 2 daughters and I often wonder what my message is to the two young women I am raising.

What is it I need to show them, so they appreciate and celebrate themselves?

I understand it starts with me and role modelling what I want and hope for them (No pressure then?!) but my goodness its challenging to live up to.

So, after great consideration, I decided to write down my core beliefs and philosophies, not only for my daughters and the women I hope for them to be, but for each and every one of us and for the generations after us.

1

Be real, be yourself and be fiercely proud of this.

Nothing good comes from trying to be anything other than who you are.

Being ourselves may take resilience and courage, but the alternative is to waste energy in being something we are not.

Give yourself the gift of time to explore who you are.

2

Your truth lives in your heart.

This is your absolute place of faith. Trust it with every fiber of your being.

Take time to feel and listen to what lives deep within you.

3

Listen to your intuition, it never lies.

Your intuition is your own personal barometer of what’s real. An incredible resource that lives within you and one to ALWAYS depend on for accuracy.

4

Perfection doesn’t exist

You will never reach perfection… it isn’t real.

It will cost you your self-worth.

Use this energy to find peace and celebration in all that you are.

5

You’re worth is not measured by what u weigh

Women are encouraged so heavily to look great… so much more than men. It’s become a status symbol. We have multi-billion-dollar industries dependent on us disliking how we look…

Understand your worth is measured by what lives in your heart and the impact you create in the world. The numbers on the scale do not define you, nor do they speak for you.

6

Ask for what you want

The worst anyone can say is NO

7

Whatever you’re experiencing other women are too,

You are never alone in how you feel. We as women all experience the same highs and lows. Some good days and some bad.

8

Comparison, guilt and judgement are not a trusted part of you.

These emotions won’t bring any clarity or support. Don’t stick around here. When in the presence of this, reflect, check in and get curious about yourself and your current experience. There is always something to learn.

9

Don’t’ let your mind bully you or your body

The nasty dialogue in your head is NOT to be trusted.

Fill your head with thoughts that empower you, support you and encourage you.

10

Resist getting caught up in the importance of aesthetics

How we look, is important to us girls, whether we like it or not! But boy, can we waste energy aiming for perfection!!!

Hair, makeup and fashion are the one of the many glorious parts of being a woman. Resist being owned by the pressure of it. Take the positive opportunities us women have to look good and leave the rest.

Buy the lipstick, get your nails done, only if it brings you joy. Find a way to appreciate and enjoy your aesthetic self for all that you are, however you are.

11

You are allowed to stop

Allow space for your disciplines and practices. Take a bath, a walk, an afternoon nap… whatever is needed to refresh your energy, gift it to yourself.

12

Learn to like and love yourself

Life is more magical and a damn sight easier from a place of self-worth. Know this, embrace this and give yourself permission to allow this.

13

Be kind

To yourself first and foremost

14

Learn to say NO

It allows you to make space for your “yes”

15

Stand by your boundaries.

Boundaries are an imperative part of self-care. Take time to learn what they are and how to honor them.

16

Your vulnerability is what makes you YOU

Embrace it and share it. The world needs so much more authenticity and reality.

17

It’s ok to be pissed off and angry

Just don’t make any decisions from there.

18

Wherever you find joy and aliveness, follow it.

This is what life is about… follow the “stuff” that brings you happiness and makes you smile.

19

Learn who deserves a place at your table

Not everyone in your life will add value or be a positive influence. Whether it be family, friends or social media, understand the energy you want to be around and pay tribute to it.

20

Celebrate yourself

Acknowledge your achievements and celebrate your success.

It’s vital we learn to appreciate and love ourselves, so the next generations of women know how to.

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Let’s lead by example… for our daughters, our nieces, our granddaughters, our sisters, for all us women who deserve to recieve the richness and reality of being a modern woman in such a privileged time .

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Nicole Goodman | Womens Identity Expert | London

 

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